I respect the right to disagree with the majority.  Actually, I encourage it.  For instance:

Everyone loves Justin Bieber? Well I say, fuck you, Beliebers!* The “in” colour of the season is black? I’m wearing neon orange.**  Pasta is the most popular food in the world?  That’s a shame because I eat nothing but soup. ***

Having your own thoughts and opinions based on your life experiences is awesome and you don’t have to compromise your own intellectual integrity just to fit popular opinion.  That being said, sometimes popular opinion is right.  There was a twitter debate raging on my timeline the other day that had to do with the controversy surrounding the Penn State athletic program and one person was expressing their very unpopular views and was getting attacked for it.  Usually, I would say that that person should be respected for their point of view.  But what if their point of view is just dead wrong?  As in has no basis in reality or common sense?  What happens then?  Should their cretinous opinion still be respected?

* I secretly think Justin Bieber is adorable and when he’s 18 his ass is mine.

**I’m currently wearing all black everything

*** The only thing I can actually cook is pasta

The song has stopped now. Punctuation is now back in style.

1. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you look at older ladies in the gym changing room and realise that even if you take care of yourself, when you’re their age,  gravity still wins
2. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you start running on the treadmill at speed 12.5 and have to move it down to 8.0 2 minutes later
3. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you’re trying to put on tights and realise that you may have taken No Shave November too seriously
4. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you have 3000 words due in 2 days and you’ve only written 321
5. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you run out of shower gel and have to use shampoo instead
6. #thatawkwardmomentwhen your roommate goes to work for 8 hours and when they come home you’re still in the same position on the couch that you were when they left
7. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you realise your parents are coming to visit you in less than 2 weeks and it’s going to take you at least 2 weeks to make your house not utterly disgusting
8. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you tell the store attendant you wear a size 10-12 and she automatically hands you a 12
9. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you feel pressured to buy clothes you can’t really afford because the store attendant was so nice to you
10. #thatawkwardmomentwhen you realise your diet till the end of the month is going to consist of soup, instant noodles and tap water

I bet she likes her body

I’ve come to the realisation that if you don’t like the way your body looks you only really have two options: learn to accept and cherish your lovely lady lumps or do something about it.  If you can look in the mirror ass naked, nod appreciatively and say “I’d hit that” then this post is not for you.  If you cried for half an hour last time you went into an Urban Outiftters changing room because of the way your rolls hung over those skinny jeans then you might want to read this.

It’s not actually that hard/expensive to get into shape, you don’t have to join a gym or go on that awful looking Jenny Craig diet.  It’s free to go for a light jog/ brisk walk for an hour every morning and ask yourself if you really want that second helping of beef stroganoff for dinner.  Swap the fizzy drinks for water and accept that broccoli is not in fact the anti-Christ.  Turn on the fitness channel and do that weird yoga/ jazzercise thing they have or just turn on a Travis Porter mixtape and bounce that ass, shake that ass, like the twerk team.

Hello To You Too

If you’re looking for a quick fix don’t act like you haven’t heard of the miracle of shapewear.  Wonderbras are the saviour for ladies with little bitties and spanx have arrived to deliver us all from protruding bellies.  With all of the things out there to enhance and nip and tuck your body into unnatural proportions, there’s really no reason for you to look close to the goddess figure you wish you had.

But also, while it’s nice to want a body like the ladies in the beer adverts, you probably shouldn’t aim for that and just try and get to a stage where you’re happy with yourself.  Also, those girls probably go to the gym for 5 hours a day and eat half a rice cake for dinner and don’t have time to do awesome things like not go to the gym for 5 hours a day and not eat half a rice cake for dinner.  So there’s that.

I most certainly don’t have the perfect body (I have a bootydew- my stomach sticks out more than my booty do), but after going to the gym and re-evaluating the need for chocolate brownies in my life, I’ve reached the point where looking at myself naked in the mirror doesn’t make me fall into the foetal position and cry myself to sleep.

I think women really should either love their bodies or work to get to a stage where they feel comfortable loving their bodies and start concentrating on something more pressing like equal pay for women?  Reducing the rate of teen pregnancy? Finding a way to make Oprah Winfrey POTEW (president of the entire world), so she can give us all free sedans?  Whatever it is, body image should not be so consuming that it negates us from achieving great things.

But in the mean time: round of applause, baby make that ass clap…

Amanda Blank- “Get It Now”

So Amanda Blank just has zero fucks left to give.  If this song is any indication of her attitude toward life, she literally could not care any less about the things “enlightened” women are concerned with.  Ms. Blank is all about getting hers and getting it now and fuck all the noise that the third wave feminists talk.

Khia- “My Neck My Back”

When you’re in the club and you hear the words, “all the ladies pop yo p*ssy like this”, you know it’s about to get real.

Ying Yang Twins- “Wait (The Whisper Song)”

I’ll be honest and say that I prefer the edited version of this song but even that is pretty nasty. Despite liking this song, I will be damned if a gold-grilled; musty dreadhead breathes any of these nasty things in my ear and doesn’t expect a swift African backhand in return.

Akinyele- “Put It in Your Mouth”

This song is the crème de la crème of ratchet songs.  It is foul, degrading, explicit and I know all the damn words.  I am currently in the library writing this and listening to Put It In Your Mounth with the volume turned all the way down lest the first year sitting beside me hears it.  As much as I love it, there’s just something about this song that makes me feel guilty about listening to it.

Also, any song by Trina.

I know about this

And this

And a little bit of this

And last and in no actual way least

Way back when, I made a mixtape for the place that brings you mixtapes every Friday, www.fridaymixtape.com.  Because I super love the mixtapes they put out over there, I decided to hit em with vol.2 of random mixtapes curated by RiverTems.  It’s a pretty….eclectic  mix shall we say and it has little rhyme or reason, but it’s a pretty accurate snapshot of what goes on in my iTunes now-a-days.  Have a listen and let me know what you think (http://fridaymixtape.com/mixtape-119/).  Also shoutout to @thelastminute for all the help.

Well maybe those rules are there for a reason, Justin.  Clearly Mr. Timberlake’s not a rapper so it’s no surprise that his verse is pretty horrible, but still, he seems to be having fun and not taking himself too seriously which is evidenced by the disclaimer at the start of the track.  This is really all just a super smart ploy to get people to listen to FreeSol who are signed to Mr. Tiimberlake’s very own record label.   But check it out, anyway.

(First seen on www.mostlyjunkfood.com )

Well, it’s not very good.

And Mr. Elba doesn’t have any screen time so I’m not sure how invested I’m going to be in this web series.  However there are lots of pretty and nicely dressed people in it so  I’ll at least watch the next episode to make sure it sucks before I stop watching it.  Here’s the first episode so you can judge for yourself.